Sorry, I got a little off topic there. My mind is... reeling from the connotations of what I have witnessed. Metal men. Moving, screeching, angry metal men. They ripped and tore through everything in front of them, flesh and metal twisting beneath their cold palms as they bulldozed through buildings and people without a care or flicker of emotion. These... brutes, these terrible, unhuman husks of a gentleman, are upon us. But fear not. We have a select group of people to deal with these sorts of situations. We have men ready to give their lives for this cause. We have... the A-team.
Wait. The A-team are dead. Apparently there was a terrible mix-up with a movie crew, several large helicopters and the belief that you can throw money at anything and make it good. These robots run on piles of money. So... unfortunately this plan failed.
Instead, gentlemen, I have obtained six people who recently lost their jobs and will literally kill these monstrosities for food, the occasional refill of the canteen, and hats.
That's right. I'm talking about the TF2 mercenaries.
These... people... if you want to call them that, I'm fine with ragamuffins, but apparently they wish to be declared as 'people'... are willing to take out the approaching robot horde for very little money. In fact, you could almost call this free. In fact it is free. Everything about this fight is free. So... perhaps it shall be more entertaining to watch than we first anticipated.
They will be based in specific attack areas, in the throngs of the terrible horde of robots, and they shall be fighting off these hordes until they stand on top of a mountain of twisted metal. Or they lay snapped in half, screaming for mercy as robots tear their vital organs out and squeeze the biles into their eyes. Either way, it shall be a rather amusing bout of rough housing.
For those interested, the people organising these battles (known formally as Valve) have presented us with a bit of backstory and description of the abilities of these avengers of the human race. It can be found here. It contains descriptions of the mercenaries, their opponents, the upgrades available to them (if they chose to purchase some... and... you know... live) and the specific points in which they will be applauded for. It will be quite a fight, I assure you.
Those of you interested in taking part of a lucky "draw" for prizes, the admission is £0.99. A measly sum, I think you'll agree. It might be a bit addictive though, I advise caution against spending all of your money on the tickets. For those interested, here is a link to their Frequently Asked Questions about the prizes and the draw.
I know I will be participating with my friends in this wonderful sport... Or... fight for the human race, which ever this is. I just hope that my long string of losing bets has finally ended. I would hate to lose even more money on such adventures... Then again, if I lose, then humanity has lost as well. Perhaps a lack of money wouldn't be my worst problem.
Good Day, my friends.
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