Thursday, 16 August 2012

Hatoful Boyfriend: The best game about dating pigeons I'll ever play

So...this exists...

A dating sim (Apparently no porn in it).
About dating pigeons.

So, searching the deepest crevasses of the internet, I found this.
And I found a full english version.
And I (possibly with some assistance from Sir Thomas here and there) will be doing a Lets Play in the future.
So you can all cry about the fact that I'm going after a bird you don't like.

So, I should explain.
You are an ordinary HUMAN highschool girl by the name of Tosaka Hiyoko, who has a...different name in my save game. That was, until you joined St. PigeoNation's Institute.

and birds. Lots of birds.
Oh, and if you're wondering why you, a human girl would go to a school for talented birds, they state "It's a long story." Thanks, that's great.

This is your first day of the new semester, but don't worry, you are here with your childhood friend.

Yup. A rock dove. Oh, and don't get used to that pretty boy image. They are only used for introducing the characters. But that makes it fine right? Just keep those images in your head. It'll make it aaaaaall fine.

So yes, I can't speak for much of the game, as I've yet to play it (that's the fun part), but there are a few potential "suitors". All birds.

The general gameplay is the same as most visual novels. Read text, read some more, choices. More text.
Pretty pictures accompany.

So...I'll have at least one video up soon I hope.

Till then...

Blasted Automatons

Greetings, it is I, Sir Thomas. Though... after my last post I have rather shunned that name. It has bad connotations with it now. If you don't know what I'm talking about... don't look for it. Don't want the video. Don't like, favourite and subscribe.

Sorry, I got a little off topic there. My mind is... reeling from the connotations of what I have witnessed. Metal men. Moving, screeching, angry metal men. They ripped and tore through everything in front of them, flesh and metal twisting beneath their cold palms as they bulldozed through buildings and people without a care or flicker of emotion. These... brutes, these terrible, unhuman husks of a gentleman, are upon us. But fear not. We have a select group of people to deal with these sorts of situations. We have men ready to give their lives for this cause. We have... the A-team.

Wait. The A-team are dead. Apparently there was a terrible mix-up with a movie crew, several large helicopters and the belief that you can throw money at anything and make it good. These robots run on piles of money. So... unfortunately this plan failed.

Instead, gentlemen, I have obtained six people who recently lost their jobs and will literally kill these monstrosities for food, the occasional refill of the canteen, and hats.

That's right. I'm talking about the TF2 mercenaries.

These... people... if you want to call them that, I'm fine with ragamuffins, but apparently they wish to be declared as 'people'... are willing to take out the approaching robot horde for very little money. In fact, you could almost call this free. In fact it is free. Everything about this fight is free. So... perhaps it shall be more entertaining to watch than we first anticipated.

They will be based in specific attack areas, in the throngs of the terrible horde of robots, and they shall be fighting off these hordes until they stand on top of a mountain of twisted metal. Or they lay snapped in half, screaming for mercy as robots tear their vital organs out and squeeze the biles into their eyes. Either way, it shall be a rather amusing bout of rough housing.

For those interested, the people organising these battles (known formally as Valve) have presented us with a bit of backstory and description of the abilities of these avengers of the human race. It can be found here. It contains descriptions of the mercenaries, their opponents, the upgrades available to them (if they chose to purchase some... and... you know... live) and the specific points in which they will be applauded for. It will be quite a fight, I assure you.

Those of you interested in taking part of a lucky "draw" for prizes, the admission is £0.99. A measly sum, I think you'll agree. It might be a bit addictive though, I advise caution against spending all of your money on the tickets. For those interested, here is a link to their Frequently Asked Questions about the prizes and the draw.

I know I will be participating with my friends in this wonderful sport... Or... fight for the human race, which ever this is. I just hope that my long string of losing bets has finally ended. I would hate to lose even more money on such adventures... Then again, if I lose, then humanity has lost as well. Perhaps a lack of money wouldn't be my worst problem.

Good Day, my friends.

Tuesday, 14 August 2012

Gamescom is here & Tearaway is coming...

So there's this thing called Gamescom happening this week in Cologne, it's the worlds largest video games trade fair and today it kicked off with a whole bunch of press conferences by some of the worlds biggest publishers showcasing their upcoming games.

Sony also held a press conference which seems to have been a direct responsie to most of the criticism they received following E3 - namely that they neglected their new handheld, the Playstation Vita - of which I am a happy new owner (why I got the Vita and how I'm getting on with it I'll save for another blog post or two).  Suffice to say, they kicked off their Gamescom conference by announcing new games for the Vita, this was the one that caught my eye though - it's by Media Molecule, the guys that made Little Big Planet and it looks... well... amazing:

If you are quick you can also pick up a Vita for the BARGAIN price of £144 from Tesco - click here to learn how...

Sunday, 5 August 2012

As I promised.

Greetings, I am Sir Thomas, and I have... a treat... for you today. A while ago, some of you may remember, I wrote about the Fanfiction 'My Immortal' and how it is the very Nadia of fanfiction writing. Some of you will also remember that I promised, at the very end, that I would do a reading of this terrible abomination. It gained popular opinion, and thus... I have spawned... this...

It toiled over a microphone for at least an hour, and the depths of the internet for countless more, to bring to you this... terrible fusion of internet memes, abhorrent fanfiction, and mumbled curses. I have done it. Not... all of it... the video was thirty minutes plus by the end of chapter ten... But it is a start. So... to all my friends... here it is. The beginning of the end.

Good day, my friends.

You Shall Not Pass - The Impossible Journey.