A really expedient update from myself, merely because I am waiting for the servers to load on TF2. No. Seriously. Don't leave. I know I repeated myself, I know my last post was about this, but this is a serious mortar shell that went off under the floor boards.
By now you've seen the Meet the Pyro video. If you haven't, may I direct your mouse over towards the link just there? It is rather necessary for this web log to make sense. Click it. I won't wait, you'll have to catch up.
Now, seen it? Good. You know that land of wonderment and joy that the Pyro sees every day? You know the sweet lollipops and baloonicorns that line every street and destroyed corpse? Well, good news, you can play there.
Pick your jaw up from boot level before I scrape some muck off on it. You put one goggles, on ANY character, and the animation turns to... well... what you saw in the video. I don't know how exact the transformation was, they definitely had enough time to pull it off, and the server still hasn't connected. But I advise everyone, everywhere, to start playing as soon as possible. Because if you don't play before the 5th of July, you won't get your pair of free Balloonicorn goggles. And you don't want that to happen do you?
Here's the Pyroland page. Go there and just... marvel at the sheer nerve of Valve. I am uncertain what fever dream they fell into to even consider something of this magnitude... but no matter the crippling brain scarring, it was worth it.
Greetings once again, it is I, Sir Thomas. You all know my name by now, and I am astounded that none of you are yet to actually use it.
Now, today I was informed of a wonderful occurrence. Team Fortress 2, a first-person-massive-online-multiplayer-shooty-game-type-thing has uploaded the latest and final "Meet the Team" video. What is "Meet the Team" you ask? Well I'll tell you, but you really should say "please" when making an inquiry from your betters.
Meet the Team is a series of videos where those wonderful mischief makers at Valve show you a little more about the unique and frankly appealing characters of TF2. Each class is a specific character model, and they treat these characters as people with completely different and sometimes rather disturbing personalities. The only problem is, this isn't a story based game, it's an online multiplayer.
So, to give these characters some more depth they add certain... differences to the reactions they have as you play. The scout's mocking laughter and loud personality clashes greatly with the quiet confidence and soft spoken insults of the sniper. This wasn't enough though. They needed cutscenes about the characters. But they couldn't stick them in game, there was no place for them. So they decided to make the videos separate. They created the "Meet the Team" series.
The last one, the latest one, is about the most mysterious character in the game. A character who shows no flesh at all, who speaks in such muffled tones it is almost impossible to understand him... or her... or it. The Pyro.
Dear God in his mighty heaven above what did I just WATCH? This is some kind of abomination upon science, or psychology, or perhaps both! This reveals nothing, but everything about this character, and I'm terrified but intrigued as to how this... thing came into being. Is it a man? A woman? A little girl in a suit? An Alien? A robot? It says nothing, but we see the world through the Pyro's eyes for the first time, and I, personally, am terrified of this character now.
What can I say but... insanity. Pure insanity. Or... perhaps trickery. You might notice, when the camera is zoomed in on the Pyro's face, some words on his... her... it's mask. "Optical Mask". With more writing beneath it. Could it be, the Pyro is in fact, not exactly insane? Merely... innocent? A character of innocence that throws itself upon the enemy without fear because it believes nothing in this world can hurt it, because it cannot take that mask off itself? I smell something in the air, and that is the smell of the words "Property of Aperture Science" stamped across mask rubber.
Another troubling detail... at the beginning, with interviews of the Heavy and Scout and Spy, all scared stiff of the Pyro... they are RED team members. The Pyro's OWN team members. The Scout physically runs away from his own team member.
I need to go play Team Fortress 2 some more. It's free. Anyone and everyone can download it. I suggest they do. I shall be the one with a flamethrower and complete lack of control.
Here is a link to the Team Fortress 2 youtube page, for those who want to view all of the available Meet the Team videos. I suggest they do, if not for the comedy, then for the interesting psychological character studies.
